Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
