do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
