I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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