True but thats because hes a fetus.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
