She is in my trunk
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
