He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize
