He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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