he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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