4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
