her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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