never play flip cup with pint glasses
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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