In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
