What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
