i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
