In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
