He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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