hotel room ftw
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
