i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
even my farts smell like vagina
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
