in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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