Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
