i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
