You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
They have beer where we have blood.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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