just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize