Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
do herpes really smell.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
don't judge my taste in strippers
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
