You made me cry and you don't even care
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
cat food counts as protein by the way
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
