I must be too annoying 4 u.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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