You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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