I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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