I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
