So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
