So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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