Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
