worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
