I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
