she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
