it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
