tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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