Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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