Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
