Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
