Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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