Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
