we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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