Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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