Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
