she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
