Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
