He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
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I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
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Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome