he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky