bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
