I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more