So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
