Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
