im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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