Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
