and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
