just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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