he puts the penis in happiness.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
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Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
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The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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