I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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