I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
