I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
