Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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