no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
