shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
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