Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
