You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
