called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
