I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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