Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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