dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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