That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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