How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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